Ch as in Cheddar

Somebody please...

2009-05-13T17:03:00.000-07:00

HELP! I cannot stop buying these:
I buy them. I eat the whole bag. No dip. Just chips.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

It's sick.

More Words of Wisdom from my Mother...

2009-05-13T06:45:00.000-07:00

In response to this article:

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! I wonder if YOU have one of those!"

Thanks mom.

Yes, I was supposed to have a twin. My twin miscarried... which is the only reason I wasn't aborted.

Hopefully she isn't still attached somewhere, but it would be pretty sweet to have my sister in a jar.

Success!

2009-05-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

Ahh. Men are so easy to please.

Cookies are almost all gone, and I even got an "I love you!" From the Dr. O. Funk himself.

Now I have a fucking stupid amount of crappy ones at home.

I have a confession.

2009-05-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

I love to cook. I make big extravagant meals. I cook lots of random stuff. I use a lot of spices. I truly enjoy the food that I make. I love playing around with different colors and textures. The whole experience is fun for me.

Here's the thing.

When it comes to cooking for other people... I freeze. My taste buds go on strike. Nothing tastes right, or worse... I can't tell if it tastes good or not. I get so nervous about wanting it to be good, that I am unable to taste my own food. It could be wonderful or terrible, and I would hardly know the difference.

I want to make cookies for my friend's last day at work tomorrow.

I went to the store today. I spent an absolutely stupid amount of money on everything, just so it would be perfect. Organic white AND brown pure cane sugar. King Arthur flour. Ghirardelli chocolate chips. Brand new cookie sheets. Brand new measuring spoons and cups. Parchment paper. I used organic, farm fresh, local eggs. Everything. had. to. be. perfect.

I meticulously followed the recipe, put them in the oven at 375 degrees. Timed it exactly 14 minutes. I cleaned my kitchen. Washed my dishes. Wiped down the counters. Put on an episode of House, and waited.

They arent perfect. They are only ok. Edible, I think, but kind of dry, and a little too brown. Not Perfect.

But wait. I knew that this might happen... so I bought DOUBLE the ingredients.

Now, here I am. Midnight. I worked an 11 hour day, and I'm running on a few hours of sleep. I'm waiting for my second batch of cookies to finish baking. I re-washed all of my dishes. Re-wiped the counters. Put all of the remaining ingredients away again.

I am so nervous, I think I actually need a cigarette.

Help.

2009-05-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Does anybody have a good chocolate chip cookie recipe? My co-worker's last day is Friday and I want to bring in some cookies. They need to be good ones.

Any tips for perfect cookie-making?

Unbelievable.

2009-05-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

I just went for a late night swim at Barton Springs Pools.

I worked all day, and then I went to the Farmer's Market. I bought fresh eggs, salad greens, red onions, swiss chard, carrots, and I totally splurged on a huge loaf of ciabatta. I finished it off with an iced Chai, and chatted with my friendly farmer friend.

Then, I finished my errands off with a trip to my neighborhood Mexican Grocery. Was greeted with a very warm welcome from Tamale-guy (I'll tell you later) and I got a stupid amount of food (mostly fruits and veggies), and other random stuff, for $37. I love that place.

Anyway, I came home, fed the doogans, and took them on their nightly stroll around the apartment complex.

When they were all settled in, I hopped in my car, drove into down, and then along side the river for while, until I hit Barton Springs. Probably 10-15 minutes from my house, with some traffic.

I met up with Matt and Nicholas from work.

We walked down to the natural, ground fed pool, and jumped right in. The water was incredible. Crystal blue. It had been a beautiful, but thick, 95 degrees today, and at 68 degrees, it complimented the muggy night perfectly. We swam for a while. It wasnt overly-crowded there, and everyone was just relaxing, having a pleasant Wednesday night.

Afterwards, Nicholas and I smoked and happened to come across the tail end of an outdoor production of Romeo and Juliet, which was a nice way to finish off the night.

Perfect.

2009-05-05T19:43:00.001-07:00

Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody! I had a perfect evening, met some new people, sat outside and had a few drinks, I love Austin.

Relief.

2009-05-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

Can I also just say how nice it is to be in my own bed right now. My own, crummy, mattress on the floor with no box spring.

Plus, dog-cuddles are a trillion times better than boy-cuddles.

2009-05-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

Isnt it funny how sometimes we can be so certain that we want something, and when that something comes along, it's either not at all what you expected, or you've simply outgrown the need for it, and it seems so trivial? Years of dreaming and planning turn something so small, into something huge and amazing. Then *poof* it's gone.

I'm not even sure how I feel. Should I be happy? Sad? Relieved? Should I over analyze every detail until it drives me crazy? Should I embrace the blank slate, or feel like a complete failure and not really know what to do.

How do I pick up the pieces?

I think a little bit of everything. I honestly don't know where I belong right now. Have I really created my own little world that doesnt fit in anywhere?

I feel like I am just.... on a different level than everything. Not a higher level, I'm not an asshole, I just kind of feel like that puzzle piece that simply won't fit anywhere.

I went to California this weekend. The weather was crummy, but it truly is a beautiful place. Orange and fig trees grow along side ever greens. The land is flat for miles until you see the beautiful mountains.

There are shops, and galleries, and delicious food.

I never ever ever want to go back.

Don't get me wrong, it wasnt all bad. I got to see an old friend... we went to a few different art galleries. We planted basil. We sat by the pool. We played fooseball. We had wonderful food. However, a 4-day-long-first-date is a horrendous idea, especially when said person doesnt seem all that interested in talking to you.

I think we were both counting the hours until my flight left. We got to the airport, hugged, told each other that we had an great time, promised to see each other soon, etc... etc...

Then, I jumped out of the car and never looked back.

I don't regret going, because it has given me a much needed fresh start for Austin. I missed it, here. I missed my dogs. They missed me. I wanted to go... Home. I also feel so relieved to know that my decision to stay single and not put up with bullshit is truly the way I want to be.

And wow, California is a "It's a Small World" version of hell.

No, I will not over-pay for every damn thing.

No I do not accept the 50 cent charge if I use my credit card. It's 2 thousand and fucking 9.

No crocs for me.

No yuppy, happy families, with their canvas bags and 9 year olds with ultra-hip hair cuts.

Yes, I have tattoos. Kiss my ass.

2 lane roads? Psshhh.... those are for pansies.

I want brutal heat, homeless crack-heads, graffiti, traffic smog, spanish billboards, and tamales out of random Mexicans' car trunks.

I am quite the eco-friendly, canvas bag carrying, no chemical cleaner using, whole foods eater..... but puh-leeese.

Take your pretentious middle class asses and grow a set.

Thankyouverymuch.

P.S. Never ending Sushi on revolving boats can come to Austin, though. I won't tell.

So, I'm kind of embarrassed...

2009-04-27T17:35:00.001-07:00

... but I just love Heidi Klum. I tried to fight it, but she is adorable and hilarious.

Grr.

2009-04-27T11:18:00.001-07:00

Fucking birds are eating my marigold and chili sprouts. I think window boxes are a lost cause.

*grumble grumble*

Oh, I was going to go volunteer on an organic farm today, or take Maggie to the dog park, but it's POURING outside. It's 60ish degrees, dark, and wet. I don't want to do anything.

Oh well, it gives me an excuse to continue my lazy weekend.

And how cute is this picture that I found of the park?

Oh, and before anyone gives me crap about the dog park... Maggie is only interested in the water, and it's way cooler than any other dog park I've seen. Plus, she's like 8 years old, so suck it.

I've got it...

2009-04-27T01:51:00.001-07:00

kicking the bucket.,..

2009-04-27T01:13:00.000-07:00

So I planted a bunch of vegetables when I first moved here in February. I live in an apartment, so everything went into buckets on my balcony.

Everything started out fairly well. Kale, tomatoes, squash, lettuce, basil, cilantro, green beans, chilis, etc...

Slowly things grew. They strained to survive, and I knew something was wrong. Months went by, and I had one measly tomato that stayed green. Squash died out. Kale died. Green beans almost made it... then died. Chili's were doing fairly well, but they are in different planters. Lettuce is long gone. Basil is clinging to dear life. I gave up on the cilantro.

I went to the farmer's market last week. I bought some glorious eggs from this guy from Milagro Farms, right here on the left:Beautiful, mismatched eggs. From real live chicks. Who eat real live food. Who live real live lives. Who make eggs that taste nothing like the ones from the grocery store.

I also bought swiss chard, onions, tomatoes, cilantro, mesculin greens, homemade jam and ginormously wonderful collard greens. I love the farmers market.

Anyway, I decided that this guy was the best person to ask about my gardening dilemmas. I figured I had the growing season off or something, and he asked me... "Do you have holes in the bottom of the bucket?"

HOLES!!!!!

I forgot to drill motherfucking holes! Mother Nature, bitchslap me, please.

So.... today I decided to dump out the dirt from my squash plant. Holy shit in a bucket, it stank. Stank like poop. Poop, poop.

Arrrrrgh! So I completely re-vamped my "garden". I'm starting fresh. The only surviving things are my tomatoes, chilis, basil, and various succulents and such that I already had.

Now... I have a huuuuge amount of dirt that is gross, swampy, wet, stinky and just... blech.

What do I do with it?!

Can I use it? I put it back into some buckets that I put holes in, but will it be ok when it dries out? I hate to have to buy all new dirt.

Oh, and it wasnt just the buckets that didnt have holes. Apparently all of the planters I bought for my houseplants and some of my herbs and such had to have the trays popped out of the holes before use. WTF?!

So please send me some good thoughts for my garden. I'll take some pictures tomorrow.

Just so I don't feel like a complete failure... look. at. this. Be amazed... be very amazed.

This was a dying cactus that I picked outside of my apartment building about a month ago. Isn't it glorious?!

Rainy Daze

2009-04-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying, Austin has beautiful weather. Constant. Perfection. Since I got here in February it has been a pretty consistant 75 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky.

There is a downside to perfection, though.

At the first sign of cloud, that first drop of rain... everyone loses their minds and turns batshit crazy.

There are accidents left and right. Traffic jams. Fire trucks. Ambulances. Burning buildings and riots through the streets. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit.

The sad thing is, I can feel myself turning into one of these crazy people. I woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach. Rain?! Nooo!!!! I can't live without sunshine!

So anyway, my day has been spent in traffic. Pulling over for sirens. Dodging the morons who think that they can cut people off and drive like just as much of an asshole as they do with dry roads. Passing the crazies who are inching along the highway with white knuckles grasping the steering wheel.

The sky is falling!

Alas, the rain is a good thing. The sun will soon come out, and my brain will be restored back to it's normal state. Lets hope everyone else's craziness will go away with the clouds.

Rest in Peace

2009-04-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

www.caitlinmhammaren.org

Blogger: Fail.

2009-04-14T08:11:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone. I just wanted to apologize for falling off the face of the planet. I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I just don't want to do anything. I let my phone calls go to voice mail. My meticulously clean apartment is in shambles. I'm just drowning myself in old movies, Mexican food and my dogs. I'm starting to come back to life, though. I hope.

My no spending in April failed. First, I had to buy a birthday present for my mom, which lead me to be buying myself a much needed Virgen de Guadalupe calendar, a sweet poster and a Dia de los Muertos tile.

Other than that, I've been really good. I've pretty much only spent money on food.

My weekend was pretty decent. I didnt do much, but I walked Maggie around town on Sunday and we found a sweet park near the river where she could swim.

My goal was to see the famous Austin Bats , but they decided not to come out and play. Maybe I'll try again next week. I managed to get some fun pictures of Austin, though.

Hopefully I'll be in the bloggin' mood tomorrow. I've missed a lot.

Good day.

2009-04-01T20:04:00.001-07:00

Excitement!

2009-03-31T18:30:00.000-07:00

So I've finally decided what I want my business name to be, and what the theme of the logo/website will be. It's absolutely awesome, and I have so much faith in my friend's graphic design work, so I can't WAIT for it to take off. I'm so excited, I could pee!!

So, my hair is... kinda gross. LOL I've just been wearing it up, and washing it every few days. It's not bad, I just havent been paying any attention to it really.

But here's a silly question. I know I'm not supposed to shampoo it, but when I take a shower, do I get it wet? Or do I do the shower-cap thing? Not that I have any intention of buying a shower cap, but you know what I mean.

Speaking of buying things...

I was reading some random blogs, and I came across the April 2008 Buy Nothing Challange.

Now, I know it's 2009, but I missed the boat, so I am going to do it anyway.

Tomorrow I get paid. I have quite literally no food in my house. (Egg noodles, a can of tuna and sriracha sauce is just NOT good. No matter how optimistic you are about it). Tomorrow I am going to go food shopping, but I'm going to buy the bare minimum. Only staples. Nothing floofly.

I also need to buy my mother a birthday present. But that's it.

No take-out. (GAH!)

No shopping for silly things for my house.

No spending stupid amounts of money at the garden store.

No clothes.

Nothing.

For a month.

I'm going to partake in confession-sunday. I'm going to be realistic about this.

I really want to save money. I really want to not be wasteful. I really want to break some of my bad spending habits. I don't need half of the stuff that I buy. I don't need to eat out. I have basically been doing this anyway, because I am stupid broke. But this will help me not to suddenly go on a spending spree as soon as I am caught up on my finances. I can do this.

I don't need silly material things!

Besides... nobody thinks I can do it. Hell... I barely think I can do it.

Insomnia turnes Chea into a crazy person.

2009-03-30T23:37:00.000-07:00

Can I just tell you that I love being single? I do. I love my independence. I love not having the drama. I love not having to deal with anyone's problems but my own. If I am unhappy, it is my own fault, and I can't blame it on anyone else. Maybe that is selfish, but whatever. It is what it is.

It took me a while to realize that I don't have to base my happiness on someone else. My life isn't based around finding that mythical soul-mate that will instantly make all of my problems go away. I just don't buy it.

I think a lot of it has to do that I was raised by a single parent. My father passed away when I was young, and my family role-model was my mom, raising three daughters by herself. She is still single, and seemingly happy about it.

When I think about having children, I don't even think about the role of the father. I just envision doing it on my own. I'm not sure what that means.

See, I have this problem. I always want what I can't have. I move. I switch jobs. I just can't settle down, and I have absolutely no patience. I get bored easily and can't imagine being with the same person for any significant period of time. Granted, I've dated my fair share of assholes, but that is neither here nor there.

It seems that I always wind up with someone who is stupidly infatuated with me, and I end up hating them, or I find someone who I think I actually like, and they have no real interest in me. Lose-lose. I just don't have it in me to do any of it. I have no interest in playing this game over and over again. It's easier just to throw in the towel now, and not waste my time.

I'm not completely bitter. Really. I think relationships can be beautiful things. I know a few couples who make it work, and it is amazing. I think some people are meant to live their lives with another person, and some people aren't. I don't think I am one of those people. I like being alone too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There has been one person who keeps popping into my life over the years. I have actually been close with his whole family for a long time. I was good friends with his sister, and my sister is good friends with his brother. Our families have been intertwined for as long as I can remember. They have always been the family that I wish I could be a part of, and they have helped me immensely over the years.

Honestly, I have always had a silly crush on him. It's something that I never thought would amount to anything. Him and I have just never been in the same spot at the same time. Either we are seeing other people, or living in different states or different countries even. Plus, there is an age difference, so it wouldn't have been possible for anything to happen when I was younger. I never figured he would even think twice about me.

We have only spent time alone once; on a long car trip last year. We spent hours talking about life, music, politics, religion, pets, and everything else imaginable. He bought me lunch, we hugged and I went on my way. I haven't seen him since.

Right now we are both living in strange places, with no social life. Like magnets, we have attracted. We talk every day. Text messages, instant messenger, post cards, etc... We are both lonely, and have clung to each other for some sense of home, I guess.

Over the past few months, we have made it abundantly clear that we are interested in each other. He has offered to buy me plane tickets to come and see him... but only if I return the favor and fly him to Austin when I have the money. Just waiting on those tax returns...

I'm really not sure if I should even bother. What am I doing to myself? I love Austin. He is in grad school. 2,000 miles away. (The west coast. Not where I just came from. )

I have thought of a million reasons why this just. can't. work.

I think of the distance. I think of his flaws. I think of my flaws. I think about how much we'd grow to annoy each other. I don't even want a relationship! What does he want from me? There are so many other details that I can't even begin to get into. I'm over-thinking it to death.

We are only doing this because we are both alone. It's so silly, really. I want him because he is unattainable.

He will find his social life. I will hopefully find mine. We will go back to the way it always has been. Acquaintances that chat when we have nothing better to do.

It's nice to think about, though.

[/rant from the crazy person]

Randomness.

2009-03-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

This is kind of a random cluster of a post. My weekend was fairly unproductive. However, I feel like I got quite a bit accomplished today.

I finally finished Dreams from my Father which I have been working on for... months. I kept reading a few pages, and then I'd get sidetracked and put it down for a few weeks. Anyway... can I just say how much I LOVE the president of the United States. I never thought I'd say that. Never in a million years.

I called my bank in Vermont so I could close my account, and DAMN they make it difficult. I had to transfer the $1.27 from my checking into my savings account and tomorrow I have to call and have them close the checking account. Then I have to write a letter giving them permission to close it, and I have to get it notarized! Bastards.

I vacuumed my apartment, cleaned my kitchen and folded and put away the ginormous pile of clothes that have been living on the floor of my closet. Walk-in closets are dangerous, people.

I also urge all of you to watch After Innocence. Unbelievable. It's absolutely horrifying that these men have been totally dicked by the justice system, and they get NOTHING in return. They don't even get their records expunged!!! My brain can't even comprehend that.

Speaking of people in prison, I saw this ad on Craigslist and I think I am going to call tomorrow. I love gardening. I like people. I should be doing something more productive with my life, so why not?

I've been doing quite a bit of dog sitting since I've been here. I really want to make something out of it, because I think it can develop into quite a successful little business. I have hit a road-block, though. I can't think of a name. At all. All I have is These Dogs were made for Walkin', which I like, but it's way too long. I could go with something boring like Magnolia's blah de blah. I have no idea. HELP! I want something original and NOT cutsie.

Anyway, it's 1:30am, and I can't sleep. It might have something to do with the 40 cups of tea I have had tonight, but who knows.

Words of wisdom from my mother...

2009-03-29T17:37:00.000-07:00

"You know when you cook a whole chicken, put it on a plate and it looks like a baby?"

Sugar High.

2009-03-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry I havent posted in the last few days. I'm just trying to stay sane.

I work ten+ hour days, therefore... I get a three day weekend. It sounds great, and it would be... if I had any kind of social life and any money to put gas in my car.

I'm getting paid on Wednesday, and that should make me all caught up. I can start saving again. I can breeeeath!

I was thinking the other day about how lucky I am that I only have to take care of myself, and my dogs. I know that sounds selfish, but my dogs are fed. My rent is paid. I have no debt. I need to become a little more inventive with my cooking, but whatever. I make it work. I'm so glad that I don't have to worry about feeding any little Cheas (eek!) and that no one else has to endure this crappy situation with me.

So anyway, this weekend has consisted of walking the dogs, cleaning my house, inventing things to cook with the stupidly limited ingredients lingering in my empty fridge, and watching bad movies. 1 day down, 2 to go!

On another note...

I don't buy sugar. As soon as I moved to Austin, I made the commitment to buy whole, natural foods with no high fructose bullshit, and only natural sugar.

If I want a sweet fix, I eat a piece of fruit, or a natural ice pop.

Do I still get the urge to pig out on a pint of ice cream? Yes.

A few weeks ago, I had accidentally overdrawn my account, and found $2 in an old winter coat that was stashed in the back of my closet. Did I save it? No. Did I put in into my bank account? It wouldnt have made a difference.

I went to the glorious HEB and bought a pint of Blue Bell's Mocha Madness. It was SO worth it. I sat on the floor in my apartment, with no food, money or gas in my car, and shared that ice cream with the pooches. Damn, it was good.

Anyway, what I usually do, is grit my teeth, eat a mango ice pop, and shut my mouth about it. It does the trick.

Then I go to work.

About a month ago, a client brought us a cake. A big, fat, oreo-laden chocolate cake.

Last week, another client had freshly baked (still warm!) cookies, milk, and that Blue Bell ice cream delivered to us. I must have had a dozen cookies with a mug full of ice cream, and the milk poured on top. It was heavenly.

On Thursday, my boss treated the staff to breakfast tacos. Did I mention how much I love breakfast tacos?

On Friday, my manager brought in a big bag of chocolate candies.

Now, if someone ever tells you that sugar isnt addictive, they are LYING.

I could not stop thinking about those little chocolates. One after the other, I ate them until they were gone. I would try to talk myself out of eating them, but the thoughts kept eating at my brain. I was jonesing... for candy. I don't even eat candy.

I quit smoking like it was nothing. I was a very regular pot smoker, and I non-intentially cut that out of my regular routine as soon as I moved here. Alcohol? Meh. For special occasions.

Give me a bowl of reeses cups and chocolate kisses? Forget about it.

I eat healthy. I love eating healthy. However, my brain tells me that if I'm at work, it doesnt count.

Seems logical, right?

Oh, and last night, I cooked some dried beans, baked a sweet potato, sliced avocado with some queso blanco and made chicken/sweet potato burritos. They were delish!

On a happier note...

2009-03-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

Moving across the country by yourself somehow has this funny way of making you dirt-ass poor. I've always had savings. I've always been able to pay my bills, and still have an little extra. Now? Nope. I pay my rent. I pay my bills. I buy some food. Then I'm living off of rice and beans until my next paycheck. I'm starting to get everything all caught up, and I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I can go on without a hitch until everything is back to normal.

So, my mom turned me onto the Life Less Plastic blog. This girl is pretty cool. I enjoy reading her posts, and she has some pretty good ideas. I admire her dedication, and she is an entertaining writer.

(Disclaimer to Tara, you are probably going to knock me up-side the head after reading this)

Because she doesn't buy anything that comes in a plastic bottle, she had a big dilemma with shampoo and conditioner. She washes her hair with a bar of shampoo, and conditions her hair with vinegar. Waaaait a minute. VINEGAR?! I thought she was batshit crazy.

Then I realized that I was all out of conditioner, didn't have any money to buy more and I really really really had to wash my hair. I'm not about to shampoo without conditioning.

I peeked under my sink, and glared at the big bottle of vinegar. Reluctantly, I boiled some water, threw in a few springs of rosemary for scent, and added the vinegar.

....and it worked! As of this week, I've been shampooing my hair like regular, and conditioning it with diluted vinegar.

To be honest? My hair has been slightly weird, but I have a huge problem with washing my hair every damn day, so I'm thinking that I'm just de-toxing a little bit.

I'm going to seriously do my best to cut my hair washing down to few times a week... which should be interesting.

Anyway, one thing lead to another and I started reading about the no-poo movement, and I'm really going to give it a go. I'm going to have a really nasty head for a few weeks, but whatever. It's worth the shot. I'm sick of my hair being completely nasty within a day of not washing it.

Apparently a lot of people only wash their hair a week with baking soda. Hmmm...

Which brings me to the original topic of this post. I ran out of dishsoap last week. Because I am dirt poor, I couldn't justify going out and buying my favorite earth friendly, yummy smelling dishsoap.

For the past week, I have been washing all of my dishes with baking soda and vinegar... and it is amazing! They are clean. They shine. And best of all, the excitement hasnt worn out yet, so I've been having fun washing dishes.

Lets see how long that will last.

The green-living nerd inside of me is so excited by all of this. The truth is, I have been cleaning with vinegar and baking soda for years, but to actually make the decision to commit to it? I'm so happy! I also use peroxide when I need to disinfect, btw...

~

On another note, I've been doing a stupid amount of cooking since I've moved to Austin. Every day, I come up with some elaborate new thing to make, and it's been wonderful! I've made some terrible concoctions, and I've made some pretty rockin' plates of food, if I do say so myself.

I've spent countless hours in the kitchen, chopping and dicing and creating all sorts of fun stuff. The dogs sit at my feet and wait for all of the random things that fly off of my cutting board. Then we all move it over to the living room, cop a squat on the floor (because my laptop cord isnt quite long enough for me to sit ON my couch. Only in front of it) and enjoy a real, home cooked dinner, made out of real food, that came from the real ground and real live animals. YUM!

I'll go more into my joys of cooking some other day, but I wanted to let you all know that I thought about making a daily post about what I had for dinner. That seems a bit excessive, so for now, I'm going to end my post with this:

Tonight, I made lime and garlic marinated chicken breast, with avocado and queso blanco quesadillas... and holy crap it was good. Whew!

Oh, and I promise to start writing shorter blogs. But in my defense, there was like 12 different things I wanted to talk about tonight, but didnt.

So there.

Just to be a downer...

2009-03-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

I have to start off today's post with a big, huge, GIANT thank you to Tara. Thank you so much for mentioning my measly little blog today. You are one of the most amazing women I have ever known. In the years that we have been friends, you have had such a huge impact in my life. I am a stronger person because of you.

You are always there to knock some sense into me when I'm being crazy.

You and Gabe give me hope that true love does exist, even when it's not perfect. Even if I'm not one of those people, there are people who put up with each other forever, and that makes me happy.

Not a day goes by where I don't look forward to reading your blog. You are truly an inspiration.

Thank you!

~

So I've been pondering what I should write about today. It was pretty slow at work, so I had time to make a list of things I want to write about.

I had a bunch of really good, fun ideas, and then Rocky came in.

Rocky is an old lab who has been battling cancer for quite a while. He is a happy dog. He doesnt like needles, and occasionally has to wear a muzzle. All in all, he's a sweetheart. He is happy to come into the clinic, and is always wagging his tail.

One thing that has always struck me, was the bond between Rocky and his dad. They both always come in with a smile on their face. Rocky's dad is one of those overly friendly people that walk into a room and you feel a giant burst of energy radiating off of him. Honestly, sometimes it's exhausting. Sometimes I just want him to go. away.

Today he came in, and I could instantly feed his pain. Rocky was coming in to be euthanized.

My heart sank when Rocky came in with that same great big butt-wagging smile, and immediately jumped on the scale. He knew where he was. He knew what he was supposed to do. But this time, we didnt need to weigh him.

The exam room was ready and waiting for him, but Rocky plopped himself down in front of my desk.

I offered them the empty room, and his dad smiled and said "Today is Rocky's day. Rocky wants to stay here."

I gave him the paperwork to sign. I asked him what he what he wanted to do with Rocky's remains. My voice could barely make out the words.

While Rocky's dad waited for his wife to arrive, he started playing fetch with Rocky in the small room. He told me that they had spent the day in the park. Rocky had steak for dinner. They shared a tub of Amy's Mexican Vanilla Ice Cream.

As I sat there any pretended to do paperwork, I listened to the yellow tennis ball bounce off the floor. Over and over again. I listened to Rocky scrambling after it.

He was happy.

I could feel his dad's pain as he watched his dog play. I wanted so badly to remind him that is was better to make this choice on one of Rocky's good days, and not on a bad one.

When his wife arrived, they both sat on the floor of the reception room and continued to play with him. They kept trying to justify their decision by pointing out various lumps and limps as the dog hobbled back and fourth after that ball. They kept telling him what a good boy he was. They laughed together. They cried together.

As I sat there, I thought of my own dogs at home. I thought of Maggie's greying face, and her slowing bones. I thought of Trey's amazing heart. Our indescribable bond. My eyes filled with tears as I thought about the day when I will be in Rocky's dad's shoes.

Then it was time to go into the exam room. Rocky's dad and his wife stood up, walked through the doorway, and called his name. He stood there and just stared at them. The most remarkable stare. He knew. I can't even explain it. He just... knew.

He hesitated for a few seconds, and then followed them into the room, and the door shut behind him.

The levee broke.

I just sat in front of my computer and cried. I have worked in shelters for most of my life. I have chosen animals to be euthanized. I have held them as they let go. I always get through it. I always know that it's the right thing, and can accept that.

Maybe I'm just getting soft, but this absolutely broke my heart.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Rocky's dad walked out of the room. She walked outside, sat on the swinging chair on the porch and tried to hide the tears.

Then through the heavy wood door of the exam room, I heard it.

Rocky's dad was sobbing. Wailing. Weeping over the body of his best friend of 14 years.

Nothing can compare to that sound.

Rest in Peace, Sweet Rocky.

Might as well start somewhere...

2009-03-23T17:10:00.000-07:00

Ever since I made my first post, this blog seems to be all I can think about. Every time I do anything, I think "I should put that in my blog!".

So instead of flooding you (my one and only reader... ha!) with tons of stories about my super-exciting life, I will leave you with this:

The Ataulfo Mango

My love for mangoes really started with my beloved dried mangoes. In Vermont, I worked as a cashier at a natural foods co-op. We had a huge amount of bulk foods, and rarely a day went by when I didnt come home with a bag full of my dried mangoes.

Leathery sweet bits of goodness.

Anyway, I love anything Mango. Mango fruit bars. Mango smoothies. Mango fruit leather. Whatver.

Real live mangoes? Not so much. I can rarely pick out a ripe one. They are difficult to eat, and honestly? Not worth my time. I like instant satisfaction. I am not a patient person.

And then, while searching through my local fruteria, I found them. The Ataulfo mango.

Words can hardly describe these wonderful little fruits. Not only are they cheap (not unlike ALL of the produce down here, but that's another blog) but they are amazing. Ataulfos are about the size of a fist, and really don't look that impressive they are sitting in their bins, surrounded by bigger, flashier fruits. They are wrinkly and spotted. Doesnt seem like anything to write home about.

Then you peel them. Yes, I said peel. Ataulfos can be eaten like a banana.

Their sweetness is unmatched. They are perfect. They are smooth and unlike their red or green cousins, fiber free. Like butta baby. Melt-in-your-mouth-wonderful.

I have even managed to eat them while driving. Now tell me, when was the last time you managed to eat a mango while stuck in traffic and driving a standard?

I will never go back.

So... I'm new at this.

2009-03-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

My name is Chea. That would be:

Ch as in Cheddar
Ay as in Way
Uh as in Duh!

Ch-Ay-Uh.

(thank you to Tara for that one)

I recently packed up my two dogs, Maggie and Trey, and drove 2,000 miles from Burlington, Vermont, to Austin, Texas. The ride was long,
stressful, and unbelievably cramped, but I would do it again a a second.

I'm originally from New York, and I guess I just needed a change. I can't handle cold weather at all, so what better place to go than south?

I still can't get over how wonderful the weather is here. The people are friendly. The food is amazing, and I adore my apartment.

I work as a Veterinary Receptionist, and it's definitely a good job. I have been doing a bit of dog sitting on my spare time, so stay tuned for news on that new endeavor.

This is my first official blog, so bare with me while I get find my groove, and learn my way
around this place. I havent really decided what my goal is for this blog, but I guess it will grow into whatever it wants to be.

As much as I love Austin, I can't really explain how lonely it has been moving to a place where I don't know a single person. I feel like I am starting to turn into a crazy cat lady... except for the fact that I have dogs.

I'm sure my friends are growing quite sick of my hour long phone calls, and desperate need for human communication, so I figured I would pull the ultimate hermit move, and start a blog. Not great for creating any kind of social life, but whatever. Nobody is perfect.